The Outdoor Witch Blog
On Identity & Unconditional Love
What makes us who we are? What is our persona? What is our true Identity? What about self-love?
How to experience true Unconditional love for ourselves and others? What if we CAN’T stand the identity or persona that we are incarnating?
Over the past year, I took a deep dive into these concepts that were so foreign and a big question mark for me.
Spoiler Alert: I found some astonishing, life-changing answers!
Self-Love & Identity
These two concepts have been my biggies. It took a lot of suffering, studying and soul-searching until I suddenly get it. A breakthrough moment that changes it all. That makes everything possible in the most empowering way possible. A crucial step towards peace of mind, abundance, and self-love.
Over the past year, I took a deep dive into these questions that were haunting me. I knew they hold the key to my evolution and ability to move forward despite the tough times that I was going through.
I guess these questions came at a stage of my life when I was really willing to make decisive, concrete changes and stop settling for less. I have been studying metaphysics, the Laws of the Universe, and the power of our mind for over 10 years. Yet, some concepts like self-worthiness, self-love, true abundance, seem to be ever eluding me…
Some days, on my “good” days, it all seems easy and clear. I felt at peace with myself, where I was at, and the lifestyle that I had chosen. But on other days – more often than not, it was the radical opposite. I felt at a complete loss, a failure, hating myself for who I was and for where I was (or rather was not) in life, in my career, and so on. And I felt like on my efforts to change and become a better version of myself, manifest the life I wanted were ruined and I had to start all over again, or at least I had put everything on hold for a good while. Well, I was beating myself up and feeling sorry for myself. Regularly I was convinced that I was a failure and not made to function in this world, and that the latter would be better off without me.
Does any of you relate to the above? Then keep reading. I have something for you. Promised!
To give you a better understanding of where I was coming from, my whole existence seems to have been at cross-purpose with a “classic” life. I never was victim of any atrocious behaviours or suffered from extreme difficulties. But I always felt different, never fitting in, never really understanding the social rules nor interests of people of my age. It was even going beyond that: I never felt any attachment or affinity to the country I was born into, nor the language. And I invented new or embellished versions of my childhood, of my family history, of who I was, because they felt more real, more My Real Story than the original one. You can say that I was telling lies. From a 3D point of view, yes, I was; I was telling stories, inventing a new identity, a new persona… but looking back, who can tell which versions Is the most real? The original or the one that felt good and real? Even some very vivid memories that seems steel solid are remembered differently by another protagonist who was present that same day. Who is right? Which memory is the real version?
As I entered adulthood, I tried to fit in and follow a decent career path after having completed (the hard way) my Master in Law and Criminolgy. But it didn’t work out! I kept changing, evolving from one career path to another, studying more, changing field of interest every other year, learning more, …and so…once again I didn’t fit with any standards. I was suffering from an ongoing Identity Crisis.
What is my purpose? Where do I fit? How can I be of service to others and myself? What am I supposed to be and do?
Some say it is the typical middle-age crisis. Well, mine started very early and is still in progress! Lol
Lately, as I was heading into another new chapter of my life – yes, let’s be fair: once you adopt 12 huskies, you ARE stepping into a new challenge and phase of your life, right?!, I was confronted more strongly than ever with my Identity crisis, and all the above questions and related doubts.
I wasn’t living this unusual lifestyle easily. I was faced with a lot of inner conflicts and a very (very!) low self-esteem and poor self-acceptance. More often than not, I would criticise myself very sharply for being where I was, all the challenges that I was facing on and on, the lack of financial freedom, lack of career, my many failures, etc. Well, you get the picture. Yet, for nothing in the world, I would have changed for a more classic lifestyle. Totally inconsistent to say the least.
This Dark Night of the Soul Episode 6 (!) led me to some extremely powerful understandings and breakthroughs.
Spoiler Alert: that’s when things get juicy!
The Secret: It all comes down to understanding who we really are at the core, our True Identity, and what Unconditional Love REALLY means.
I had these two principles completely wrong. And this is the cause of all the mental torture and never-ending, self-perpetuating suffering.
So, let’s get down to the root of these concepts. THE Answers you’ve always been looking for.
We are, as human beings, are both part of the Infinite Creation, the Universe, God, however you want to call the Source of All Creation, and Creation itself. We are made of Unconditional Love. Our core being is infinite, pure love and light, eternal, flawless, perfect, and complete as we are. We are both the Source and a part of it. This is the basis of the teaching of the Law of One. There are a lot of material out there so feel free to explore these teachings for yourself.
This means that our Persona, our Ego, the person, or various identities that we take on daily, is nothing more than a mask, an outfit. None of them would ever reflect fully who we are.
The way we interact with others, the lives that we have built, the way we were raised, our education, our careers, everything is nothing more than the attributes of a character in a movie. It is not real. They don’t define YOU, who you truly are, at the core: a being of love and light.
Even feelings are not real. They are the feelings of that Ego, of the character you are choosing to play in this particular movie. They feel very real. This reality, this 3D reality feels and looks very real. But they are all related to the experiences and life for this particular Ego Persona.
This means…there is no point in trying to change the feelings or control them. You can simply acknowledge them and move beyond. Your EGO is feeling them, this Identity you have created. But they are not YOU. You are NOT your THOUGHTS. You are NOT your FEELINGS. If they are pleasant ones, great: acknowledge them and keep feeling them. If they are not, you can decide that they are not you, not your preference and let them be. Don’t try to delete or suppress the. Nothing can be suppressed in the Universe. But simply let them be and move on. Without judging yourself or forcing you to dig into them, understanding where they come from, who is responsible for your way of reacting, etc. This is never-ending and will lead to even more difficult feelings and questions. If you’re upset, angry, sad, or extremely happy, these are all only feelings. They don’t define you. You don’t have to change them. Let them be. Don’t feed those that are not your preference. That’s it.
This understanding was a real big one for me. Because, in all these theories on the Law of Attraction, how to manifest your reality, etc, it is often mentioned that you have to think and feel to manifest the reality or life that you want. And so, I was always trying to shift my feelings when they were negative or monitor my thoughts to keep negative thoughts pattern at bay. It was exhausting. And not working. It only led to more failure, more lack (never being or doing enough) more self-criticism, more self-inflicted pain and suffering.
When in fact: it doesn’t matter! WHY? Because who we really are the core is ABUNDANCE and LOVE, pure love and light. And therefore, we attract no matter what! We can get whatever we want, we can be, achieve or become whoever we want, just because WE ARE. We don’t need to be perfect because we already are! It is the Persona, the Mask that has flaws, is grumpy, never satisfied, and crippled with fears. Not Our Core. Not US.
That’s why we always read: you have everything you always need. You are all you need. It refers to our core Identity, beyond the limited persona, ego-based, 3D identity, who will NEVER be complete or perfect.
We can have all the abundance, wealth, health, happiness, love, and prosperity in all ways that we want if we simply recognise this: we deserve all this, ALL OF US, simply because we are. We are Creation and a part of it.
This leads me to Self-Love and Unconditional Love.
To be totally honest with you, I have to say that I don’t like the persona that I am, have become. I don’t like my/her behaviour, reactions, many of my/her character traits. I admire part of my personality and abilities. But I am not proud of many of her/my ways of doing/acting.
To make it short: I don’t love myself.
I have tried, and tried, again and again to accept and love myself. Without success.
But now I have understood that... it doesn’t matter. Because at the core of my being, I AM LOVE. Unconditional love. This eternal, infinite love that loves without any conditions. ANY! Unconditional Love just loves for the sake of loving and loves to love! That’s all. It does not care that I don’t love my personality. It doesn’t matter to Unconditional Love. It loves me anyway, and as I am a part of Unconditional Love, who I am at my core loves anyway, beyond all conditions, inner or outer. It means I can not love this character that I am acting as, but I cannot not love myself at my core as I am Pure Love.
Does it make sense to you?
This all means that you can give up on trying to change you or love you as an ego-based persona. You deserve love, abundance and all the good things in life even if you hate your persona! Source doesn’t judge. There is no good or bad, no right or wrong for this Infinite source of Light. It knows that you deserve to have simply because you are Love and Light at your core.
I know that this is a hot topic, probably hard to accept by many, especially in the current context of extreme violence and war on the planet. But there is far more than meet the 3D eye… And by acknowledging our Infinite nature of Love and Light, we can spread it to help others on the planet to become aware of their own true Nature. By healing ourselves, we heal the planet
You can heal yourself simply by recognising your Infinite Nature, the presence of Unconditional Love in you and the Light that you are made of. Even if you don’t believe in it! Your persona will probably not believe in it or question it. Of course! It is too easy, too simplistic to be possible for the ego-based mind that loves to create and solve problems and difficulties. So don’t fight it. Let it be. You don’t have to believe it. Your inner being knows it already. And deep inside you, this resonates. It feels right and much better than all the limiting beliefs based on fear and lack that your personality holds onto so tightly. Just become aware that these fears are not you. These beliefs are not you. But you don’t have to change them or fight against them to live a life more in tune with your core nature. Be aware of these fearful thoughts and feelings. Be aware of reactions, feelings or thoughts that comes from your ego-based persona. See them for what they are. An illusion. A creation. And move on. Let your true Identity shine!
Having understood the true meaning of these principles has made a tremendous effect on me.
It took a ton of pressure of my shoulders. I no longer try to correct, monitor, or wrestle to the ground my negative thoughts or feelings. I simply detach who I really am from the unpleasant reactions that my ego-based personality has and see them for what they are. That’s it. And oh boy, it feels good!
I know that I deserve and can manifest all the good things that I want just because I AM. Whatever happens on the surface doesn’t matter nor can interfere with my Creations. And so CAN YOU.
This is Pure Love and Kindness to yourself. By moving yourself in this space, you will not only feel better, but will shine your Unique Light to the outside world and everyone around you will benefit from you.
Come and join me #TrueIdentityWarrior #MoveBeyondFears