Living a normal life ?

On feeling loved and safe

Recent events pushed me to explore further what “having a normal life” really meant and dig deeper into the concepts of feeling loved and safe. In these times considered as the Great Awakening of Humanity by many in the New Earth community, I am certain that I am far from being alone with this feeling of uncertainty. We find ourselves navigating in completely uncharted territories, where most of our old references and beliefs do not stand or make sense any longer.

Uncharted Territories

For the past four or five years, my life has been more tumultuous and uncertain than ever before. I never had a very peaceful or “classic” lifestyle, but it reached an unprecedented level of chaos and question marks! It still is the case, in fact, in many ways, and living in a state of uncertainty and not knowing what tomorrow will bring, has become my new norm. Except that living in survival mode, emotionally, mentally, and/or physically never feels anything like normal. I don’t believe that it can nor should be the new normal. I am convinced that life is not supposed to be a constant source of fear, anxiety, worry or struggle. And being in survival mode means to be permanently on alert. The stress level never goes below a certain threshold, and it turned into living in a state of chronic stress…

It is exhausting. And so far from the idea I have to live our lives fully, to our highest potential.

In my insatiable quest to find answers to the biggest questions about life, such as why are we here? What is the purpose of life? What about our own personal purpose or reason to be? What a normal, pleasant, fulfilling life looks and feels like? And so on…, the latter has clearly been on my mind for quite some time.

Indeed, what makes our lives feel good and normal?

As I found it hard to answer the question directly, I approached it from another angle: what is actually missing in my life right now that makes it not feel good or “normal”?

Obviously, the answer will be different for each of you. Yet I believe there is a common denominator to all of them. Here is what I found out.

Experiencing Lack

For the past years, one of the strongest “negative” manifestations in my life in the midst of this ongoing uncertainty was the lack of financial resources. Finances were suddenly tight. I found myself in this uncomfortable position of not knowing how or when money would come in. I was never too sure how I would make ends meet or, if suddenly a big stash of money would arrive, I never really knew how long I would have to live on it. Money felt limited, difficult to get, to make, or spent much faster than earnt. I couldn’t think of any services I could offer the world and those I was interested in offering didn’t seem to get any traction. It was a very new situation to me as I never had any money issues in the past. I never really questioned the fact that money kept coming in. And suddenly, it wasn’t anymore.

To add up, interestingly enough, this uncertainty spreads to other areas of my life too: my home, my relationships, my career, the country I was living in. My entire life seemed to be crumbling down… as if nothing was built on solid ground.

Yet, at the same time, new things and events kept coming in my life, and some truly wonderful ones!, leading me in new directions, on new pathways, into new projects or creative endeavours. Whenever I felt stuck or completely lost, something would show up, moving me forward on an unexpected path.

However uncomfortable it all felt, I could do nothing but go with it and learn to navigate unknown waters. It didn’t go smoothly at all. It’s been a hell of a ride! Extremely challenging, I was pushed way beyond my comfort zone. Many many times I just wanted to give up. But to give up on what and how exactly? To give up on Life, what does it mean? To run away or die, and leave behind those I loved and let them deal with the mess I had done? That was – and never will be – an option for me. So, the only way was the way forward, a way that would give meaning to all the hardship I went through. There must be a higher reason for things to be the way they were. I was convinced that I had a higher purpose in life than just messing around!

Inner - Outer Reality

Metaphysics, the power of the Mind, the relation between the body, mind and spirit have been among my favourite topics for a very long time. Somehow, I felt that it was all connected. That the mess I had placed myself in would at some point lead me to finding the answers I was looking for.

I got to this point where I could do nothing more but have faith. Have faith and trust that I was on the right path, exactly where I was supposed to be. Oh, I can hear you say: we are being told this all the time! It’s an old hat! … except that I finally get it. I finally understand the real meaning being it: I needed all these more or less unpleasant experiences to get me to this point. It took me a long time… at least it feels like this. I don’t know. For some, it can take less…or much longer to finally get it! But it is as it was supposed to be. It did the trick and led me to this understanding in a more profound way than I would have otherwise:

I had really created on the outside the way I was feeling inside.

If I ever needed a proof that our thoughts and beliefs shape our reality, I had it! I was feeling so insecure on the INSIDE that my whole universe started to match the vibration of uncertainty I was broadcasting.

It was not until I had fully realised it that I could change my outer world. This led to the following conclusion:

To me, a normal and pleasant life means a life where I feel good and safe.

And what makes me feel good and safe is:

To feel deeply loved, understood, and fulfilled.

To me, these are the three key components that define a normal life. It encompasses everything: abundance, prosperity, diversity, passion, safety, etc.

I also had this epiphany that my whole world started to crumble down when the main relationships I had based my safety on started to fray… It took me a really long time to realise it. To understand also why I had set on so many physical challenges, expeditions, and solo adventures. Because, curiously enough, during these extreme physical challenges, I never felt in danger. Even though I was totally alone in the middle of nowhere, in harsh and potentially life-threatening conditions, I never felt UNSAFE. I actually felt really safe and… LOVED! I first thought that I felt loved and admired by others, but looking back, I realised that it was LOVE I felt for myself – love, compassion, kindness towards myself. And it was the only times when I would be kind and tolerant with myself and would fully count on myself for my survival. The rest of the time, I always thought others knew better: how to live life, how to do things, what was right or wrong, what to think about myself… I had completely given my power away to others, even more so to people I loved. Yes, they loved me, but they were not me! How could they know what I needed or what was best for me? It could not work. Because it led me to resent them for not being exactly how I wanted them to be for me… I had unconsciously handed my power, my self-esteem, my safety, my inner confidence, over to them, while having extremely high expectations that they will meet all my needs, fulfill all my wishes, and answer all my questions. That’s far too much asking! It is not the role of people we love and who love us to be fully in charge of how we feel about ourselves. It cannot work. It can only lead to suffering, conflict, and unhappiness.

The key to improving my outer world is to claim my power back, fully. To give myself the love and support I so much want others to give me. To feel loved and safe withing myself, by myself first, and then my outer reality will reflect it back to me.

Since I have come to that realisation and started to apply it daily, my relationship with others and myself have tremendously improved. I feel more peaceful, more grounded and in my power. I am curious to see how my outer world will reflect this back to me. Yet I feel no impatience (and that’s a first for me!), just curiosity and a deep knowing that it will. It is the Law.

What are your key components to a normal life?

What would make you feel safe and loved?

Let these questions sink in. The answer will come. Trust yourself, trust that you know already. It is all in you. You simply have to let it come to the surface and embody the quality you are craving for in your outer world. You are powerful Witches!

Much love

The Outdoor Witch